so, on Saturday night I went out with friends to my favorite speakeasy bar and got accidentally (never intentionally) completely trashed

there was a glass broken and the worst car ride (but not actually the worst car ride that I experienced 2 years ago) and a following day of laundry, handwashing and helping my friend lysol the fuck out of the passenger side of her car (thankfully my hand-over-mouth tactic mitigated 90% of the spray radius damage, for which my friend was grateful), and throughout it all I was worried about just how much I’d paid at the bar before I left cuz I’d gotten my credit card back and I remembered seeing the receipt but I had no recollection of whether I tipped and how much

well, I’m proud to say that despite having had so much drink that I could literally no longer hold it, I still knew how to do math cuz upon checking my bank account I saw that my bill reflects exactly 115% of the value I saw on my receipt

I am so good