a brief history of star trek

darlinjim:

1966 deforestation

image

2009 urbanisation 

image

potofsoup:

archeralli:

a weak and tortured bucky making sure steve gets to safety first

It’s because Bucky has a habit of letting Steve go first.

——-

1) Always let Steve go first up the stairs, so that you can keep an eye on him.  It’s easier to count Steve’s breaths and notice when Steve’s heart does that thing that makes him stop and shake.  Much easier to stop and pretend to tie your shoes while you wait, worried, than to realize 2 flights too late that Steve’s no longer with you. 

Later: Your limbs are sore and numb from being strapped to a table for 2 days and you’re pretty sure you haven’t eaten and the entire base might be exploding, but when Steve says “let’s go up,” you tell him to go first.

———-

2) Steve’s walk was mostly normal, though he swung his hips in a certain way to compensate for his scoliosis, and that put a special cadence to his stride that you unconsciously match. Even without Steve around you would twist your hip back before swinging your leg forward.  Twist, swing, twist, swing.

Later: Steve is leading the way through the forest, and you’re finally used to his height and broad shoulders and that dumb shield, but something still feels wrong.  Somehow your pace doesn’t quite match, and you can’t figure out why.

———-

3) Colors don’t work the same with Steve, so always describe unfamiliar objects by their shape and relative location, like that square window past the third door on the left, or the man wearing that unseasonably long coat standing in the corner by the garbage can.

Later: The boys are singing in the other room and you’re at the bar with Steve, trying very hard to get drunk because of course you’ll follow Steve into whatever but that doesn’t mean you have to do it sober.  “Steve,” you whisper, “Check out that lady by the door, next to that short thin guy who has his shirt open.”  Steve looks over.  “The one in the red dress?  That’s Miss Carter.”  You decide you need another drink.

———-

4) When walking down a narrow dark alleyway always stay on the right, because Steve’s bad ear makes the right side feel blind to him (though damn if Steve’d ever admit that).  On broad open streets, switch to Steve’s left side, so that Steve could hear you better through the noise.

Later: Dum-Dum gives you a weird look as you line up to charge into a Hydra base.  “Why won’t you take the left flank for a change?”  You start explaining Steve’s bad ear before you remember that he’s not that Steve any more, and that Captain America doesn’t have a bad ear.

———-

5) Stuff in your left pockets are for Steve: the asthma cigarettes that Steve could never afford, a dime for that popcorn that Steve likes, tickets for whatever shindig you’re trying to drag Steve along to. Sometimes you put things there for Steve and totally forget about it, like extra paper and a spare pencil in case Steve wants to doodle.  The left side always belongs to Steve.

Later: Steve is awfully quiet by the campfire.  You sit down by his good ear and reach into your left pocket.  “Hey,” you say, pulling out a news clipping about the war front that featured a lovely photo of Miss Carter.  “You read this yet?  They think Morita’s a Japanese defector, but the section on Dernier is priceless.”

———————-

Still later:

Report on the Winter Soldier reset procedures

After the latest test run, only the following anomalies remain:

A) The asset tends to hug the right walls and not the left, and hesitates for 30 microseconds before climbing stairs.  However, he does not hesitate when scaling walls or ladders.

B) When walking unopposed the asset has a characteristic and identifiable stride, which is dropped when he is making a covered approach.  

C) The asset communicates via relative locations, often omitting crucial color information.  However, he can be commanded to describe the colors of any object in impressive detail.

D) When dressing himself, the asset keeps his knives exclusively on his right side, and his left pockets are underutilized.  This may be an effect of continued unfamiliarity with the new left arm.

After extensive field testing, we have determined that these anomalies do not impede the asset from completing his missions, and declare the reset process complete.

—————————

[basically the textual partner to the colorblindness comic]

[The rest of my Captain America stuff]

wnyc:

This sad Brazilian fan was shown crying. But no ones published this beautiful picture of him handing the trophy to a German fan. He was quoted as saying "Take it to the final! As you can see, it is not easy, but you deserve it, congratulations" (Roughly translated)
via

wnyc:

This sad Brazilian fan was shown crying. But no ones published this beautiful picture of him handing the trophy to a German fan. He was quoted as saying "Take it to the final! As you can see, it is not easy, but you deserve it, congratulations" (Roughly translated)

via

misterfreckle:

this got out of hand so fast

but when i read bro costumes I REMEMBERED

mikasa reiner and bert are the ones who carry the team to vcitory because the opposition always forgets berts even a player and he passes all of his dodgeballs off to reiner anyway
ymir christa sasha and annie are their support squad

image

EREN IS SLAUGHTERMELON ARMIN IS CUTECUMBER MIKASA IS BOMBEGRANATE CONNIES HONEYDUDE JEAN IS MANGERINE MARCO IS BROCONUT bertl is big fig come on and reiner is RAWBERRY

After signing the contract that is the first step to any worthwhile erotic relationship, Charlie Hunnam has pulled out of Fifty Shades Of Grey, removing himself in a sudden, abrupt way that left the movie throbbing with desire, only wanting him more. “Holy crap,” Universal Pictures said, its inner goddess reflexively clenching around the aching void that Hunnam had filled just moments ago, now left empty and quivering. Had Universal displeased Hunnam? The sense that it had disappointed him somehow made Universal tingle with dirty shame—shame that burned deliciously hot and low, deep inside the studio. But Hunnam wickedly refused to say anything, clearly getting off on being emotionally withholding in the way of all the world’s most desirable men, so long as they are also exceedingly wealthy, handsome, and a sketchy masturbatory construct loosely based on Twilight.

 -

the best article you’ll read this week  (via coveredinsnow-)

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes but I’m at work and not supposed to be on my phone and that only made me cry harder

(via sweetestpiglet)

OMG HOLY HELL.  DEAD.

(via bethanysworld)

Omg this is gold.

(via ladyfabulous)

POSTED October 16, 2013 @ 16:09 WITH 7,868 notes
REBLOGGED FROM: twerkinshield (SOURCE: coveredinsnow-)

history1970s:

xtoxictears:

This is one of the best things I’ve ever watched. NO ONE knows joy like this man.

holy fuck

POSTED August 23, 2013 @ 10:12 WITH 156,178 notes
REBLOGGED FROM: boottily (SOURCE: xtoxictears)
misatofanclub:

rose—-gold:

ch3guevara:

stupid bitch.. chose vanilla pudding john smith ass over your sexy ass bear claw paw print on ur manly ass chest having mocha sexy ass ass
pocahontas was the worst

what did i just read

i am LAUGHING

misatofanclub:

rose—-gold:

ch3guevara:

stupid bitch.. chose vanilla pudding john smith ass over your sexy ass bear claw paw print on ur manly ass chest having mocha sexy ass ass

pocahontas was the worst

what did i just read

i am LAUGHING

POSTED April 19, 2013 @ 16:14 WITH 270,707 notes
REBLOGGED FROM: zebeck (SOURCE: )
  •  (We’re taking a calculus final. The TA is a well-known Lord of the Rings fan, and we’ve had running LotR jokes all semester.)
  • TA: “Okay, guys, everyone look at me. We’ve been over the rules, but just in case: no notes, pencil your answers in on the scantron sheet, and graphing calculators only – no more ‘can I just used my cell phone’ nonsense.”
  • Student: “[TA's name], my calculator batteries just died! What should I do?”
  • TA: “Here, I’ve got a big box of spares.”
  • Student: *struggling* “I can’t get this packaging open…”
  • Student 2: “Here, I’ve got a pocket knife.”
  • TA: “And I’ve got a pair of scissors if you need them.”
  • Student 3: *from the back of the room* “OR MY AXE!”
  •  (Everyone starts laughing.)
  • TA: “The only axes allowed on the exam are in the graph section.”
  •  (Everyone groans.)
  • TA: “Oh, come on, you’re in a math class. Deal with the math jokes.”
  •  (The professor enters with a stack of exams. With him are two exam proctors.)
  • Professor: “Tolkien jokes already, [TA's name]?”
  • TA: “Hey, I didn’t start it.”
  •  (The professor starts handing stacks of exams to the TA and proctors.)
  • Professor: “But I’m about to finish it. [TA], take these exams down the left flank. [Proctor 1], follow the desks down the center. [Proctor 2], take your exams right, along the wall.”
  • (At this point, many of the students have realized where this is going: Theoden’s lines from ‘Return of the King.’)
  • Professor: “Forth, and fear no problems! Solve! Solve, students of calculus! Points shall be taken, scores shall be splintered! A pencil day! A red-ink day! Until three thirty!”
  •  (The professor pulls out a pencil, holding it out like a sword, and runs down the first row holding it out. Students hold up their pencils, hitting his as he passes.)
  • Professor: “Solve now! Solve now! Solve to good grades and the class ending! MAAATH!”
  • Entire Class: “MAAATH!”
  • Professor: “MAAAAATH!”
  • Entire Class: “MAAAAAATH!”
  • Professor: “Forth, exam-takers!”
  •  (The entire class rises to their feet and gives him a standing ovation. A week later, we get an email from the professor.)
  • Professor: *at the end of the email* “PS: I appreciate all of you who wrote in their evaluations that I was the one professor to rule them all, but the best one yet was the student who called me ‘Mathrandir.’”
POSTED April 12, 2013 @ 18:07 WITH 34,546 notes
REBLOGGED FROM: ametrinember (SOURCE: notalwayslearning.com)